Friday, 31 July 2009

Filthy Friday

Friday. We love fridays because we finish work for the weekend and get mashed - or you're just a student and live everyday like it's a friday. I still got a year left, so unlucky you grumpy graduated bastards living in the real world with your council tax!

Anyways, getting back to why to noticing why McMess has an obsession with Ashe Palmer in his posts. I thought I better do a quick explanation. Think of a 22 year old child molesterer stuck in a mindset of a little child who loves to play 'Farmyard Frenzy 2' on his laptop amongst other shit time consuming games (however Sid Meyers Pirates looks pretty good - I'll give him that). Then, picture him skint, eating custard and satsuma for dinner since he has nothing else. Then picture him STINKING with his stinky rugby kit. However, all of this aside he is our housemate and I love him for all of these things. Except I hate him for all of these things too. Here is a picture that sums him up the best.

RIGHT. Back to music.

YOU MUST DOWNLOAD THIS TRACK FOR ANY DUBSTEP FANS. It's been hanging around a while, and a lovely guy by the name of Luke Nicklin sent me a link and I fell in love with it, and him, from there. Beautiful vocals by Ellie Goulding, which then are destrooyyyeddd by some filthy bass. Rather large. Please download it and enjoy it as much as I do.

Ellie Goulding - Starry Eyed (Jakwob remix)

A while ago I posted 'Upper Clapton Dance' By Professor Green. SKREAM who bought you such bangers like the In for the Kill remix, does a little minimalist dubstep rework of it. Works bloody well. Download it, love it, eat it.

Professor Green - Upper Clapton Dance (skreamix)

Be safe tonight kids, there's murderers about!

Thursday, 30 July 2009

The Bloody Hell What Happened? Beetroots

Most of you might not have heard of The Bloody Beetroots, let alone be familiar with their work. OK, so quite often the noise that comes from these masked Italian chaps sounds quite like a small group of synthesizers being brutally tortured with hair clippers or lawn mowers, whilst being thumped over the head by a large jukebox devoted to a bass-heavy rave genre.
Take 'Ezekiel Eats Red Hoodie' for example which, despite best efforts to encourage everyone go absolutely ape shit, just seems to sound like a lost Justice track stuck in the fax machine. I mean, with a track name like 'Bluto Fucks Popeye' (which actually sounds more like Felix Cartal trying to fuck a toy gun that makes loads of different noises) you just know these boys are around to cause some trouble and intimidate a few Calvin Harris fans.
But then The Bloody Beetroots are not all just about "ear drum busting, BLAST 6db mastering"; they also have, as they put it, some "heart". The 'Butter' and 'Storm' bangers would conventionally fit somewhere towards the end of any SebastiAn and Justice EP, lest we forget they also have enough remixes to achieve notability.

As regards to records, the exciting news is that their debut album Romborama is due to be released on 25th August.
With a vast back catalogue of originals and remixes dirtier than Ashe Palmer's rugby kit, I was utterly bamboozled when discovering 'Second Streets Have No Name' which features Beta Bow. Something must have gone wrong? Did their machines break? Have The Bloody Beetroots actually gone soft? What's happened? The song (and yes I believe this one actually classifies as a song and not just a miscellaneous collection of noises) is constructed using actual instruments (violins and glockenspiels) and, rather surprisingly, seems to float along like something you might expect to listen to whilst building a neighbourhood on The Sims 3.

If the album, as a whole, is a grueling day working in a factory, then this 8th track must be the very short lunch break.

The Bloody Beetroots - Second Streets Have No Name (feat. Beta Bow)

Wednesday, 29 July 2009


Iconic 80's song 'echo beach' sample...Fit Brixton chick.....I'll buy into that!!

This lovely lady is called MPHO (pronounced MmmmmmmPo!). Get used to hearing her name around.....that is if she keeps using wicked 80s samples. If not, I don't really care.

Sunday, 26 July 2009

Tetris fans.

I've heard some shit Tetris remixes in my time by wannabe
producer twats. However, this remix
is everything good to do with good pounding electro house.
Getttt some of this down ya! Massshive. People in Ibiza are pounding this out
as we speak.

Tetris - Electrixx

To find more out about Electrixx and try to flirt with him. Check out his myspace.

And now for something a little bit different.

A lesson in Dubstep.

Dubstep 2009 = Music yer nan would shit her pants too. Wubs getting Wubber, electro sounds more electrifying.

Dubstep 2006 = Burial.

Burial is a guy who everyone thought was Norman Cook (Fatboy Slim) before he revealed his identity and was actually a no-one from Saaaffff London who 'just likes making tunes'. Good on him. His 'Dubstep' is completly different to the sound of what people refer to the genre these days, and uses a sort of two step garage beat - and it works so fuckin' well. If you like M83, Aphex Twin, Boards of Canada...imagine that but with the grime of London weaved into the music.

On his myspace, some fan describes his music to a tee:

'I think it deserves to be said... your music reminds me of those moments when I return home from a club night and the evening's experience is burning itself in my brain... I might remember a vocal here, a bassline there... Whatever the case may be, your music fills in the gaps. The Burial sound is like the music that an experienced club-goer will hear on their deathbed. It is that intense.'

If that aint a tagline I don't know what is. His music is intensely heartfelt and emotional and also is the kind of music that gives you a tingle. If you can, get your hands on his debut album 'Untrue' for it is epic, and has soared in to my favourite albums, ever.

Burial - Archangel

If you have a music taste, and appreciate this amazing music, you will love his new single - produced with Four tet.

I have both the video (check it) and the lovely mp3 just for you.

Moth - Burial and Four Tet.

Thursday, 23 July 2009

Things Just got Personal.

So, I just read the new post by McMess on the blog. Interesting.
Well, I also know him well, but I know also this:
McMess and a BETTER version of the song that he posted that I found just don't go well. Number one, Because KFC doesn't play this song in any of their stores...and also, if McMess was in a club, he would have to avoid dancing to it...mainly because it would result in these.
If you don't want to listen to a slow, boring, nancy version of the song, but a hyped up version of the original you can really get your rocks off to....well then, check this out.

Township Spunk - Stenchman

Apologies for lack of posts, I will soon be devoting more time to you guys.



If I know Denzi well, then I know what makes him reach his peak of wetness. For sure, with the aid of a whole pack of viagra, Matthew gets off to DJ Mujava's Township Funk big time! (I've witnessed and it ain't a pretty site) Personally, I found the track about as stimulating as Ashe Palmer with a tuna coated ballbag. Nonetheless, some weirdos under the name of 'Crazy P' have applied a glossy, funkier, less doom-and-gloom touch to it. It now has potential for background music at a dinner party. Turn it up though if you want to drown out the sound of Denzi eating. Great work lads. Here you go mates:

Thursday, 9 July 2009


Marks and Spencer? Wine and cheese? USA and war? Bodger & Badger? England and tea? Rosie Harmsworthy and VKs? Me and sleeping? Ashe Palmer and STDs? They are all great mates aren't they? Too many question marks? These parameters (learnt that word this year) unite together to create something that is truely wonderful.
Every now and then someone will turn their laptops on, set up their equipment, make a nice cup of tea and bash out an amazing remix of their mates. Danger applied some Sega-esque sounds and bonafied synths to Boys Noize, Breakbot was bored and funked Yuksek, Le Castle Vania sniffed some pritt sticks and went mental with our mate GRUM, Russ Chimes exploited Chromeo and SebastiAn made Daft Punk sound disgusting. All ridiculously good. Treasure Fingers has hung several carats of bling round the neck of Miami Horror's seductive 'Don't Be On With Her'. This track now completes my 'To be listened whilst bouncing up and down on the sofa' playlist.

Miami Horror - Don't Be On With Her (Treasure Fingers Remix)

If you want to hear some more Treasure Fingers, bomb on down to any Urban Outfitters and get a nice cosy seat next to the speakers. Every time I go in there they always seem to be filling the ears of hipsters with 'Cross The Dancefloor'. Ooooor you could avoid the awkwardness of looking uncool by visiting his Myspace. I did.

Oh one more thing - I've finally decided that I do like new music that isn't remotely electro. Congratulations goes to Florence & The Machine whose album premiered yesterday. Thankfully she's nothing like Lily Allen or Kate Nash. Unlucky for some, here's track 13
from her debut album Lungs, which you can buy here. I have got the love, but it's reserved only for Candi Staton.

Florence + The Machine - You've Got The Love

Best of: MJ tribute remixes.

Yeah, If you didn't know MJ died a while ago.I'll keep it short and sweet... Lost a musical legend....but let's face it the guy for about six years was just making a bad name for himself. However, for a long time he was making some banging shit which was amazing groundbreaking - and will always, and should be, remembered for that alone.
Right! Now that's out of the way, here's the bloggers BEST MJ tribute remixes. And a pretty wicked video from Don Diablo. ALL of these are worth downloading.

Remember the Time - MJ (Don Diablo Remix)
Remember the Time - MJ (Allure Remix)
Remember the Time - MJ + Luke Vibert (SLEEPER mashup)
Remember the Time - MJ + Telepopmusik (SLEEPER mashup)
You are Not Alone - MJ (VIKING + CJ Milli Shooting Stars Tribute)
Billie Wildcat - MJ + Ratatat (The Hood Internet mashup)

Don Diablo - Rememeber the Time

Benni Benassi playing 'Rock With You' Rerub at EDC 2009. (Look out for the Chinese guy around 3.32...hahaha)

Monday, 6 July 2009

Professor Green

This has been banging round for a lonnnng time now. But it has only just the go ahead from the big bad industry. I think Zane Lowe played him a while ago...but it's proper good English Hip-Hop from Professor Green sampling Hungarian Dance #5.
Available from the itunes store on July 10th.

Wednesday, 1 July 2009


So my brother suggests to me that, seeing as it's about as humid as Richard Griffiths' gooch outside, we should go for a drive and eventually gatecrash a sandy beach to rub suncream onto the necks of pretty girls. Of course, we read the map wrong and ended up in a wasteland one might expect to come from the warmongering imagination of Ashe Palmer. This is Dungeness: home to a nuclear power station, residents each with 2 heads and the bleakest location for a holiday resort in the history of sea-side holidays. Such a bleak landscape inspired myself to construct a new 22 minute mix. Be warned: don't listen to this if you're in a good mood.

McMess - Dungeness

Boys Noize - Lava Lava
Simian Mobile Disco - Tits & Acid
Night Drugs - Super Chichi (Dirty Disco Youth Remix)
Justice - Let There Be Light (Pristine Blusters Remix)
GRUM - Broken
Felix Cartel - Skeleton
SebastiAn - Motor
Boys Noize - Jeffer (Black Block Remix)
Mr Oizo Feat. Uffie - Steroids
DatA - Blood Theme