The Red-Haired One

Ok, so you've won a local Ashe Palmer look-a-like competition and have been presented with a big fat cheque for £180, with explicit instructions to blow the entire lot in one fell swoop. What do you do now? Well, ideally I'd be replacing my seemingly vintage 1930s iPod or maybe placing a generous bid on eBay for one of Michael Jackson's last ever bogeys. Realistically, my 180 smackers would most probably be tossed into the faces of John James Sainsbury and Colonel Sanders in exchange for booze and Wicked Zinger Tower box meals, respectively.
A much healthier option, however, would be saving it to buy 30.1 copies of La Roux's self-entitled debut album (although I heard polycarbonate plastic disks can be deceivingly calorific?) For sure, I wouldn't have done what 137,500 braved to do and put all their chips into the Glastonbury pot, hoping that everyone and anyone decent would be headlining. I am now extremely satisfied knowing that my prize money has contributed towards steepening the slope to my inevitable obesity crisis, as apposed to buying a ticket to watch Neil 'not so' Young, Bruce 'not my fucking boss' Shitsteen, Madness, Franz 'why are you still boring?' Ferdinand and Kasabashite. Why are these bands/artists/mugs still around? Weren't they liiiiiiiiiiike famous in liiiiiiike the 18th century or something init?
On the up side - Lady Gaga's arse = turrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr mess! Let's hope the BBC Three highlights will just be her spinning round on that little podium, looped over and over and over and over and over (like a monkey with a miniture symbol?) again.
Undeniably Mike and Emily's biggest mistake was shoving La Roux's live performance somewhere amongst the, albeit amazing, line up within the East Dance tent. Her new album is out today and I've been listening to it all morning. Unsurprisingly, it's up there with the very best albums of the year, so scrape together what pence you have left after buying Tom Jones t-shirts and Strongbow to buy it here.

La Roux - Bulletproof (Just A Band Remix)
La Roux - Bulletproof (Midfield General Remix)